But I Won!

Maintaining a home is a usual families weekend "chores". That is,unless something breaks that is a necessity.  The water is leaking down the wall, you can't put it off, you must take care of it fairly quickly.  A downed snow plow at the beginning of what looks to be a wetter than normal winter needs to be repaired ASAP. You guessed it, that was me.  My snow plow was down with a broken exhaust pipe that had to be replaced before I could use it. With daddy still gone, I had to do it.  Change a couple of bolts, I can do that.  What was estimated to take about 30 minutes ended up being not only a 3 hour project, but a reminder of what I am really made of.

Notice 

First task was to remove the old pipe.  Now this is a lawn tractor that I use for a snow plow.  It wasn't easy getting into the two bolts needed to remove the old pipe.  I broke a cheap wrench trying to break free the bolts. I had to lube the bolt.  I gashed my knuckle. I finally found the right socket and dropped that bad boy! Yeah!! Now the rest is uphill, right? Wrong.

After loosening several bolts here and there, trying to wedge in the new pipe, I came to the realization that I needed to remove the whole side frame horn.  It is the piece that holds the plow blade or the mower deck to the tractor.  Well, I knew this would be a pain because I replaced these last year... Another story to tell....

It took almost 3 hours to replace that pipe.  At several points I cursed, like a sailor, because daddy wasn't home to help, because I didn't have the physical strength at times.  I welled up with tears on a couple of occasions. Once when I bashed my hand so hard I think I broke it. Really.  I screamed out loud to silent ears.  I almost cried because I couldn't wait 10 more sleeps for daddy to come home because we would get a ton of snow if I waited.  Murphy's Law, right?  There were a couple of times I prayed and thanked God for giving me the patience and strength to finish the task.  I refused to put gloves on because I can't feel with my hands and the resulting gashes and bumps and bruises show my stupidity.

The moral? I don't know if there is one.  It was a house chore that had to be done.  I should have worn gloves. I should have dressed  warmer. But it is done. I did it.  I have the pride in myself that I was able to do something that I had never done before.  I was able to take care of myself and my girls.  I know if daddy is not home, I can handle it.  Do I want to do it again, not if I don't have to.  Will I have to do something like it again.  Probably.  But I know that if I keep at it, I can do it.

Being married is challenging enough without having to live thousands of miles apart.  Military families do it all the time.  Lord knows they give and give, but their families give too.  Missing holidays, birthdays, special events and daily activities takes a toll on a family.  When you enlist in the military and you have a family, it is almost expected that you spend some time apart.  This isn't what we had planned.

We are not military.  We are just average Americans who tried to move our family to a better place, only to be pinched by the economy in the process.  We are still holding on to our old home. It is a HUGE struggle, but if we have to give up a home it would have to be our dream residence, not where the work is.  Just a fact.

So for the last 5 years, I have maintained a home front, with my two girls ages 7 and 8, and my adopted Nana who is 77.  I just began my own school so I can still be home with the girls, but earn some extra money in the process.  I just can't sit back and wait for daddy to come home any more.  I have to do my part! Hopefully this will all be a memory in a few years, but until then, I am Married and Living Long Distance.

Is the Sacrifice Worth It?

Every household makes sacrifices.  I don't know anyone who isn't sacrificing some of the extras that we love, like a dinner out or a movie to keep the home running.  But most of us continue to do what we can for our children so they are not affected by our financial strains like continuing to keep them in extra-curricular activities.  Ours is karate.  My oldest daughter who just turned 8 has fallen in love with karate.  She has attended two to three days a week for almost 3 months now and is ready to test for her yellow belt.  She is over the moon! She is practicing her form and all the information she needs to know constantly, at home, at school, at friends houses, even in the store.  Her instructors say she is a natural. It has given her focus and an inner strength.

The list was finally published. The list with all the names of the students qualified to test and the date of the test.  My daughters name was on it! She is eligible to test!!!   But the excitement only lasted for seconds when the date was announced.  You guessed it, the weekend we are gone.  The weekend we have already booked our plane tickets.  The first time we get to see daddy in 7 weeks. Yup, that weekend.  The instructor is just as devastated as we are.  He knows how hard she has worked.

There is a chance accommodations can be made, but if they can't, then we have to live with it, suck it up, a sacrifice has to be made. We are still trying to deal with the sacrifice of daddy missing the events, this will be our first Halloween apart, but us not attending the event at all has never been an option before.  My husband and I work very hard to make sure the girls are not resentful of our situation.  For the first 5 years I drove the girls and the dogs back and forth five times a year.  I have put 100,000 miles on my car so we can spend time together as a family.  But this will be the biggest challenge yet: getting an eight year old to understand the sacrifice is worth it. There will be other tests, other events, other chances to practice your sport.  Our time together as a family is so much more important baby, I promise.